Definition of Self: The Sources of Our Construction
There are a number of theories put forward by sociologists, anthropologists, psychologists, and philosophers that address the question of how we as individuals construct our ideas of self and make sense of who we are. Many of these theories were developed before the rise of the Internet. However, as we use the Internet for more communication and social networking, more questions begin to arise regarding the construction and presentation of self in the online environment.
Underlying Ideas
There are two ideas we suggest are helpful to consider in thinking about the construction and presentation of self. The first is the discursively mediated self (Löyttyniemi, 2003). This is a scholarly term, but it reflects an important idea, and it can be easily understood by starting with basic definitions. Discursive means verbal expression in speech or writing; proceeding by reasoning or argument rather than intuition. Mediated means acting through, dependent on, or involving an intermediate agency, such as another person; not direct. Self means the total, essential, or particular being of an individual; the qualities distinguishing one person from another; one’s consciousness of one's own being or identity.
Briefly, the discursively mediated self is the self that each of us constructs as a result of what we experience in our ongoing interaction and communication with others. Through engagement with others, through talking and listening, each of us shapes and refines our ideas of self and our place in the world.
The other idea is the narrated self (Peacock & Holland, 1993). Anthropologists and sociologists who study the “narrated self” explore what people’s stories, whether written or verbal, tell about the individuals and the social and cultural groups to which they belong. A story in this case is an account of events and experiences in the life of a person, designed to interest or instruct someone else.
EverFile is interested in both how the self is constructed and how a person’s life history and self narrative, or personal story, can be presented in today’s online environment and used effectively to help in achieving full potential in all areas of life.
Our Western View
Generalizing broadly in terms of our Western industrialized society, we tend to value logic and reasoning and admire those who can develop and present clear arguments (verbally, in writing, or through images) that influence or win others to their point of view. We appreciate people who are straightforward in their communication so we know where they stand or what they stand for; this is part of how we come to know who they are. We are taught that sharing and self disclosure lead to openness and trust. We don’t particularly like hidden agendas, nor do we appreciate being manipulated. We accept legitimate authority (e.g., parents, teachers, and bosses) and tend to accept and follow standard practices and norms as well as reasonable and fair rules. We are taught that each individual is important and that self-expression is a right under law.
Let’s consider a comment by noted social psychologist Rom Harré (1989), “People are what they believe they are – and what they believe they are is what the best authorities tell them they are” (p. 22).
If, as Harré states, each of us is likely to be influenced by what “the best authorities” (e.g., parents, teachers, and bosses) tell us, then one conclusion we can draw is that our sense of who and what we are develops more from outside our self than it does from our own unique, personal internal experiences and dialogues. We learn who we are and define our selves as a result of our interactions with our social environment and with those who guide and teach us and who have authority over us. A number of social scientists representing many different schools of theory argue that we are products of our environment and that the self is a social product or a social construction.
The Influence and Authority of the Internet
Why does EverFile ask people to consider all this? Our lens is the online environment, and we believe it is helpful to consider some of the key ideas about how self is constructed and presented. We believe the Internet will have a huge impact on how we define or construct our selves as well as present our selves. Our society has barely scratched the surface in understanding what developments lay ahead in the virtual environment.
Our view is that the Internet is changing the nature of how we construct as well as present the self. With new tools and methods of information exchange (for example, EverFile) and evolving forms of social networking, we believe that it will be possible for the self to become more internally constructed (rather than externally constructed), and more future and possibility based (rather than historically based). Let us explain what we mean by this, because we think it is very exciting!
Theories of the socially constructed self propose that we are social products of our environments. However, we believe that on the Internet the theories and rules as we currently know (or accept) them tend to shift. We find ourselves in a unique, now partially virtual, position to show others the selves as we choose to define and present them. Our selves are not discursively mediated in quite the same way, because we are physically separated and not using face-to-face communication practices. We may never meet a person with whom we are communicating, or we may only meet after some period of online communication. And when we do meet face-to-face, we will each be working from the view of self that we chose to present through the online communication or collaboration.
The Internet offers us more opportunities and more situations to present our selves as we wish to present them . . . not as our immediate physical social environment is expecting (or possibly in some case forcing) us to present them. The Internet is such a rapidly moving, gigantic, quicksilver, virtual environment, that we can – think carefully about this! – exist as many distinct selves in many places (sites) at the same time. Never before in the history of humanity has this been possible in the way it is now.
In many instances, such as when we seek to build a relationship with an organization to earn money, the Internet presentation of self is all someone sees; therefore, we need to be very thoughtful about how we present self in such a situation. Which self? The accurate and detailed historical self? The future self of aspirations and possibilities? Some combination?
EverFile Supports Your Development
Being congruent with who we feel and think we are and with what the ‘best authorities’ tell us enables us to be most comfortable with our selves. This, in turn, can help us appear clear, open, and straightforward.
But do you ever feel uncomfortable and incongruent about who or what is the real you? Do you want to shift or change some things? Perhaps the most important question: does your language about yourself need to change to reflect a stronger, more positive you with greater potential Contribution Value?
EverFile would like to help you consider and answer such questions. Our goal is to help our users more effectively present who they are by helping them accumulate a more comprehensive record of activities, accomplishments, and plans from which they can create a more accurate, compelling, and forward-looking presentation of self. We focus on the importance of presenting Contribution Value; that is, providing clear statements and demonstrations about the right mix of skills, knowledge, experience, and forward vision and goals for a particular situation.
Describe Yourself
Now we’re going to ask you to describe yourself! This exercise is not meant to create an exhaustive or global description, and there is no trick to this. It is simply meant to help you consider how you think about yourself and where those thoughts come from. We’re going to ask you to describe yourself using the following 9 areas. Don’t start writing yet; first we want you to get your mind around the scope of this exercise:
• Primary physical characteristics
• Primary emotional characteristics
• Primary intellectual characteristics
• Top 3 strengths, talents, abilities
• Top 3 limitations or areas that you would like to change, develop, or improve
• Core values or guiding principles
• Top 3 aspirations or dreams for your life
• Major goals to achieve
• Key success factors (how will you measure your own success?)
To help you in describing yourself we’re going to ask you to think about mapping your self descriptions with respect to your important relationships. We suggest using this simple tool to help you think about who influences you and in some way shapes your description of self. In our experience, once you’ve given some thought to this you are in a better position to consider whether you are comfortable with the current descriptions of your self or whether you want to change some things. This can help you in crafting a stronger presentation of your self and, ultimately, in delivering the strongest message about your Contribution Value.
To map your self description to important relationships, we suggest working with a simple table structure that helps you consider which communities or groups in your life (family, close friends, work associates, and other community members) say things about you or give you ideas and feedback about yourself that you believe and accept.
In this exercise you always have the final vote as to what you write about yourself – you can always change a description to be more congruent with what you feel inside at a given point in time. In fact, we hope that will happen for you as you think about and write your self description.
Reminder: if you write something that you want to believe but you know you don’t actually believe it at the moment, think about this: Emotional growth is similar to muscle growth – strength results when you push yourself to act and to be in new and different ways. Take risks, accept challenges. Without coming up against uncomfortable situations you cannot build strength. Avoidance, self-limiting language, passive acceptance and procrastination result in no gain. If you think you can’t, you’re right, and if you think you can, you’re also right!
Below is an example of a self description mapped to important relationships. We asked permission from an EverFile user to show this, and we present his example to give you some ideas. Note that he gave himself some low scores (5 out of a possible 10) in the areas of strengths and limitations. This was a clue to him that he needed to do some work on his descriptions in these areas.
Self Description Mapped to Important Relationships
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Family
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Rate
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Close Friends
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Rate
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Work Associates
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Rate
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Other Community Members
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Rate
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Primary physical characteristics
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Worst of dad’s side and best of mom’s: trim, athletic, good hair and eyes, big nose, ears
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7
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Good looking in a quiet sort of way
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6
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In good physical shape, attractive, well dressed
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9
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Always well put together
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5
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Primary emotional characteristics
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Mom’s sense of humor; dad’s quiet attentiveness; slow to anger
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10
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Great listener; always supportive
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7
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Calm, helpful, upbeat, approachable
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9
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Always available to help out, caring
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8
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Primary intellectual characteristics
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Can come up with a compromise when others are upset
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8
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Adaptable
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6
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Good synthesizer; can consolidate many points of view
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9
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Well organized
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5
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Top 3 strengths, talents, abilities
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Practical problem solver, reliable
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5
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Supportive friend
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5
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Strong writing and verbal skills; problem solver; good team player
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7
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Willing to help where needed
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5
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Top 3 limitations or areas that you would like to change, develop, or improve
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Be more ambitious for myself (but I don’t know for what goal!)
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3
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Too nice and easy going
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5
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Boss says be more assertive, show more drive. Get my MBA.
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5
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Want to know more about the villages our church supports and the biggest issues the people have
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9
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Core values or guiding principles
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Tell the truth and be kind; treat others the way I want to be treated
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9
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Be there for friends; be loyal
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7
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Don’t try to get ahead at the expense of others
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9
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Help where the need is greatest without need for recognition
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10
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Top 3 aspirations or dreams for your life – major goals to achieve?
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Be a published author like my mom and her brother
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10
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Marry someone who wants to adopt children who need a family
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10
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Develop a new way of treating and storing safe drinking water
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10
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Help create a network to link people in cities and people in small villages
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10
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Key success factors (how will you measure?
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Security from financial worry
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7
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Loving relationship with spouse and child
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10
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Salary that increases faster than cost of living
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7
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Others tell me they know they can count on me
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8
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Suggested process to complete the exercise:
• Use words you are comfortable with to describe yourself in each of the nine areas. Use as much or as
little space as you need. There is no need to fill in each space.
• When you have completed the descriptions, give yourself a few moments to consider them. How do
they feel? On the mark or off target? Change as needed.
• Using a scale from 1 (I don’t agree at all with the description) to 10 (I fully agree with the description)
self-score each description as to how close it comes to what you really want to say about yourself.
• Where you self-score your description at 5 or lower, it may be time to consider changes to how you
describe yourself. What will help you do this most effectively?
Don’t discount the possibility of finding some new friends or associates who appreciate
and support you in different ways.
Changing Reality
Once you have your self description mapped to your important relationships, then what? The design work on you and your future is up to you!
Where do you want to go? What do you want to do now, or in ten years, or before the end of your work life, or after you retire from your current career?
What do you think is really describing you in the Relationship Map, and what is someone else’s view that you tend to accept or use? If you want to change your description, you can take the initiative to re-write certain pieces the way you want them to read. Psychologists and career counselors advise people who want to change and grow to act like they want to feel, behave in the way they want to be, do things that put them where they want to be, and write their own descriptions of who they are.
EverFile wants to help you present your self in the best way possible. It is our conviction that everyone can demonstrate Contribution Value in a positive way through the text and images they present in resumes, portfolio materials, and work examples.
Works Cited
Harré, R. (1989). Language games and texts of identity, in J. Shotter and K. Gergen (Eds.). Texts of Identity (Inquiries in Social Construction Series, 2). London: Sage.
Löyttyniemi, V. Virtanen, P., & Rantalaiho, L. (2004). Work and family as constituents of sense of coherence. Qualitative Health Research, 14(7), 924-941.
Peacock, J. & Holland, D. (1993, December). The narrated self: Life stories in process. Ethos, 21(4), 367-383.
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